After an Abortion

“A woman doesn’t want an abortion like she wants an ice-cream cone or a Porsche, but like an animal caught in a trap who gnaws off its own leg.” Frederica Matthewes-Green, a pro-life feminist who started “Feminists for Life” has said. [2]

If you have had an abortion, you know exactly what she means. Abortion is not a procedure most women undergo casually. It is something you are driven to in desperation, when the alternatives seem too awful to contemplate. Yet, ironically, the very act meant to produce relief, in the long run, often produces its own special brand of agony. In this sense, too, the quote hits home.

Though the initial physical pain recedes, the emotional pain of abortion lingers like the phantom pain of an amputated limb. To our hearts, this deep, disturbing sense of unrest and regret is what is meant by the term Post-Abortion Syndrome.

There is, however, a more technical description available. According to Dr. Vincent Rue (a member of Ramah International’s Advisory Council), a psychotherapist who has researched the effects of abortion on post-abortive women for approximately 20 years, the term Post-Abortion Syndrome, or PAS, refers to a type of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that is characterized by the chronic or delayed development of symptoms resulting from impacted emotional reactions to the perceived physical and emotional trauma of abortion.

Dr. Rue proposes four basic components of PAS as a variant of PTSD:

(1) Exposure to or participation in an abortion experience, i.e.; the intentional destruction of one’s unborn child, which is perceived as traumatic and beyond the range of usual human experience;

(2) Uncontrolled negative re-experiencing of the abortion death event, e.g., flashbacks, nightmares, grief, and anniversary reactions;

(3) Unsuccessful attempts to avoid or deny abortion recollections and emotional pain, which result in reduced responsiveness to others and one’s environment;

(4) Experiencing associated symptoms not present before the abortion, including guilt about surviving. [3]

This leaves the woman with an inability to:

(a) Process the fear, anger, sadness and guilt surrounding her abortion experience.

(b) Grieve the loss of her baby, and

Why do so many women experience PAS? After all, most women sincerely believed they were making the best decision they could at the time.

(a) Even though abortion is legal, many women feel they have violated their own moral code by choosing it. There may be immediate relief, but any moral struggle felt prior to the abortion will resurface eventually. Even a woman who had no qualms about abortion at the time may later change her thinking about the issue, perhaps through learning more about fetal development, and come to regard with horror the choice she had made.

(b) A woman may find herself unable to conceive again, and experience profound regret at her lost opportunity for motherhood.

(c) Unable to go back and “undo” the abortion, the post-abortive woman struggles to cope with the uncomfortable or frightening thoughts and feelings that sometimes plague her. She may try to rationalize her abortion, reminding herself over and over of why she chose it. She may even claim out loud to be glad for what she did in hopes that if she says it loudly enough and oten enough, she may come to believe it inside.

(d) She may try to block out the whole experience, pushing it completely out of her memory, or at least down so far that she doesn’t need to think about it.

(e) Or she may try to make up for the abortion, perhaps working in the pro-life movement, becoming “Super Mom” to her other kids, or having an “atonement baby” soon after the abortion.

(f) If she had the abortion for a specific reason, like finishing college or saving a relationship, she may work extremely hard to make that reason valid in retrospect—i.e. becoming heavily invested in making her career a great success, or marrying the person she was afraid to go against, despite reservations.

These defense mechanisms are very effective in keeping the painful memories at bay, but they consume a lot of mental energy as a woman works to ignore powerful emotions. Eventually, if enough stress enters her life, she may find that she lacks the stamina to cope with both the current stresses and the past ones.

During this time, almost anything—pictures of prenatal development, a new pregnancy, or even the whine of a dentist’s drill that resembles the sound of the abortionist’s equipment—may cause the symptoms of PAS to flare up, often causing her to wonder what in the world is going wrong. The symptoms of PAS will not necessarily appear at the same time, nor is any woman likely to experience the entire list. Some may occur immediately after an abortion and others much later. PAS symptoms include the following:

Guilt
Anxiety
Psychological numbing
Depression—thoughts of suicide
Anniversary syndrome
Re-experiencing the abortion
Preoccupation with becoming pregnant again
Anxiety over fertility issues
Interruption of the bonding process with present and/or future children
Survival guilt
Development of eating disorders
Alcohol and drug abuse
Other self-punishing behaviors
Brief reactive psychosis

The good news is that there is help and forgiveness. If you are suffering from an abortion, please click here to find help.

For more information on post-abortion ministries visit Ramah International at http://www.ramahinternational.org/

[2] Frederica Mathewes-Green, Policy Review, Summer (1991)

[3] Post Abortion Syndrome: An Emerging Public Health Concern, Anne C. Speckhard and Vincent M. Rue, Journal of Social Issues, vol. 48. Num 3, 1992